His arms are no longer home to my soul, my room no longer smells his perfume, my skin no longer has his touch all over it. Why me? For the third time; why me? Trust is like feather; soft and breakable, and do not forget, it’s equally non-repairable. I am lying on my bed but the crumbles on my sheet are no longer made by his strong toes, my room no more has his silhouettes walking across the room. I looked at myself in bathroom mirror and all I saw was a single reflection. He is no more standing behind me to hold me from behind, clutching me tightly in his arms, wishing me a better day to come. His extra pair of clothes in my room, his toothbrush, his wallet and his aura has found their way to another abode.
I feel the vacuum in my ribs and then I cry; and then I laugh as I remember how happy we were together. A flashback of past and “could have been: future plays in my mind. It’s my redemption; at least that’s the way I look at it. May be that water taking him in, drowning him, taking his soul somewhere far away with its crashing way is the fate’s way of reminding me that even if he returns all those “could have been”, the thoughts leading him back to me, I would always hate him. And then I dream again. Today is the day for happy dream, I dream about we being infinite, him an I, we are happy today. At least in dreams he cannot take himself away from me.
So here’s the thing, we all should have just been born with the inability to love anyone, at least that’s what I feel. Life would be feel so much repaired instead of the damage beyond repairs. No tears, no drama, no pain and most of the movie songs would be happy songs. Love makes a man selfish and guilty but here’s a thing; I don’t know what’s worst? Drowning in the ocean of love or Craving for more love.