Normally when i don’t have any thoughts i switch to Daily Post for some help and today’s prompt was pretty interesting, well at least i found it that way especially the question it posed.
Happy Endings – Tell us about something you’ve tried to quit. Did you go cold turkey, or for gradual change? Did it stick?
Do you believe in Happy Endings? Well she was raised up with a thought that everything has a Happy Ending and if it does not, rest assured it has not ended yet.
Was she hurt? yes she was, more than anyone could have ever imagined. She had made plans for a different revolutionary future when everything came clashing down.
Was she sad? Yes she was. She was being lied to constantly
Was she happy? Yes she is. Or may be not. She does not know what happiness is anymore. Everything seems OK, fine, moving on but someday’s when she wakes up in the middle of the night, her breathe is hold up in a strange pattern where she could not sense whats going on with her.
Did she ever doubt his love? No she did not. She knew he loved her the most but she did not knew that he could lie also the most.
6 years back, when she was a 21 year old totally in love with someone in her circle, she was hurt. She loved him so much that she gave away everything, and everything of hers was a first time. The first time she loved so deeply, the first time she cried for someone, the first time she slept with someone….. And that was also the first time she was the other girl in someones life. She was lied to while he went around, moving on to her, to someone else.
She had hopes that other girl would understand, everyone told her she should do it, the situation was in her favor, and she went to the other girl explaining her everything, telling her the truth about what is happening to both of them and to her shock she was laughed at and mocked for being left out. It was more like she confused her feelings with truth. Not everyone in this world is nice after all. For some, being in a situation like that is a victory, a delusional standard they have set for themselves.
6 years later she found someone in exactly the same shoes and herself in exactly the same game.
As written int he Book Called Book Thief: “The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you”.
Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well…They can be useful. But mainly…They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn’t do without them. And there are times when you’d rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical.
This time she changed what happened to her earlier. She did not laugh at her or found a victory statement in all of it, but she found herself responsible for a lot of things. She couldn’t afford to have someone suffer on her account. She tried making everything better for her, make her feel safe and responsible, fought on her account and left everything behind making a new friend.
She din’t know what else to say to her other than she was sorry. She was sorry for the sadness that paralyzes her; the sadness that made her feel like she was pushing herself forward just to go through the motions.She was sorry for the pain that stings her, and made her feel like she was pouring salt right onto her open wounds. She was sorry for the doubt that plagued her; the doubt that made her feel like love is a risk that’s no longer worth taking…
He was and always will be her once in a lifetime. It was more like they breathed together and world smiled when they were together but not all stories have a happy ending
She still misses him, She misses waking up from a nap on his arms, the feeling that she got when she saw him across the room and every time he touched her. She misses the way he took her name like she was the only one he ever loved but then she remembers all the things she doesn’t miss. She doesn’t miss feeling sad the whole day and hurting someone else on her account. She doesn’t miss the thought that he came to her after heartlessly throwing someone else away like a piece of trash, she doesn’t miss that she was being lied to constantly and she had a hate club in her name just because of him. So yes, she still misses him sometimes, like stepping on his toes and dancing the songs, or standing below a flying plane at 3 am to watch it get smaller up in the air…Everyone has “once in a lifetime” moment and he was her that moment and probably would always will be. She will love again, move on, be happy, but she wouldn’t forget what she had with him. No one could make her as happy as he did and probably no one would ever but then she remembers that she is better off without him.
She would not ever forget their laughs, jokes, smiles, conversations, plans, tears, memories, experiences, friendship and love. But she had to let him go…..