Let it go….

Happy Endings

Normally when i don’t have any thoughts i switch to Daily Post for some help and today’s prompt was pretty interesting, well at least i found it that way especially the question it posed.

Happy Endings – Tell us about something you’ve tried to quit. Did you go cold turkey, or for gradual change? Did it stick?

Do you believe in Happy Endings? Well she was raised up with a thought that everything has a Happy Ending and if it does not, rest assured it has not ended yet.

Was she hurt? yes she was, more than anyone could have ever imagined. She had made plans for a different revolutionary future when everything came clashing down.

Was she sad? Yes she was. She was being lied to constantly

Was she happy? Yes she is. Or may be not. She does not know what happiness is anymore. Everything seems OK, fine, moving on but someday’s when she wakes up in the middle of the night, her breathe is hold up in a strange pattern where she could not sense whats going on with her.

Did she ever doubt his love? No she did not. She knew he loved her the most but she did not knew that he could lie also the most.

6 years back, when she was a 21 year old totally in love with someone in her circle, she was hurt. She loved him so much that she gave away everything, and everything of hers was a first time. The first time she loved so deeply, the first time she cried for someone, the first time she slept with someone….. And that was also the first time she was the other girl in someones life. She was lied to while he went around, moving on to her, to  someone else.

She had hopes that other girl would understand, everyone told her she should do it, the situation was in her favor, and she went to the other girl explaining her everything, telling her the truth about what is happening to both of them and to her shock she was laughed at and mocked for being left out. It was more like she confused her feelings with truth. Not everyone in this world is nice after all. For some, being in a situation like that is a victory, a delusional standard they have set for themselves.

6 years later she found someone in exactly the same shoes and herself in exactly the same game.

As written int he Book Called Book Thief: “The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you”.

Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well…They can be useful. But mainly…They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn’t do without them. And there are times when you’d rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical.

This time she changed what happened to her earlier. She did not laugh at her or found a victory statement in all of it, but she found herself responsible for a lot of things. She couldn’t afford to have someone suffer on her account. She tried making everything better for her, make her feel safe and responsible, fought on her account and left everything behind making a new friend.

She din’t know what else to say to her other than she was sorry. She was sorry for the sadness that paralyzes her; the sadness that made her feel like she was pushing herself forward just to go through the motions.She was sorry for the pain that stings her, and made her feel like she was pouring salt right onto her open wounds. She was sorry for the doubt that plagued her; the doubt that made her feel like love is a risk that’s no longer worth taking…

He was and always will be her once in a lifetime. It was more like they breathed together and world smiled when they were together but not all stories have a happy ending

She still misses him, She misses waking up from a nap on his arms, the feeling that she got when she saw him across the room and every time he touched her. She misses the way he took her name like she was the only one he ever loved but then she remembers all the things she doesn’t miss. She doesn’t miss feeling sad the whole day and hurting someone else on her account. She doesn’t miss the thought that he came to her after heartlessly throwing someone else away like a piece of trash, she doesn’t miss that she was being lied to constantly and she had a hate club in her name just because of him. So yes, she still misses him sometimes, like stepping on his toes and dancing the songs, or standing below a flying plane at 3 am to watch it get smaller up in the air…Everyone has “once in a lifetime” moment and he was her that moment and probably would always will be. She will love again, move on, be happy, but she wouldn’t forget what she had with him. No one could make her as happy as he did and probably no one would ever but then she remembers that she is better off without him.

She would not ever forget their laughs, jokes, smiles, conversations, plans, tears, memories, experiences, friendship and love. But she had to let him go…..

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16 thoughts on “Let it go….

  1. Memories are a two edged sword, they make us happy and sad. They make us want to be ignorant and blissful. sometimes they teach us lessons we need and other times lessons we wish we’d never had to learn or remember. But they are always a part of us, just waiting for the next trigger to be pulled or button to be pushed. We can’t erase them, but we can control how we reactct to them, can’t we?????????? 👀 ♥ * ͜ * ♥ 👀we

  2. Great post. And I loved “The Book Thief”. Strangely, I preferred the movie to the book – which almost NEVER happens to me. What did you think? Movie or book? I’m always, always a book person. This is maybe the third exception ever for me. Not really to do with your post, but still. I get obsessive whenever someone references something I love, I’m sorry!

    I do believe in happy endings – at least, in a sense. I don’t believe in “happily ever after” – I believe there’s bumps and craters along the road. But I believe, in general, you get a happy ending. Or, at least, most people do.

    In regards to “quitting men” (I’m going with that, because that seemed to be a large part of your blog), I usually go cold turkey. Cut them out (if they’ve decided they don’t want to see me anymore. If I’ve “dumped” them, I usually give them a choice if I think they’re worth being friends with). I usually start seeing someone else pretty quickly – just a date, not a relationship – because I find that a date keeps my mind off the other person. And I usually pick the type of guy you’d date, not a relationship guy, because I’m not the back-to-back relationship type person; but it just helps me focus, recover, move on. And I’ve noticed, when I used to do that, it used to drive the “ex” guys (whatever they were) insane, because, for some reason, they expected me to be miserable and pine after them (I lived in a small country town, so everyone knew everyone).

    1. hey carla 🙂 the feeling is so mutual 🙂 me too!!! i always have a feeling that i am not a relationship type of a person but then once i get into something i tend to go very deep….. And yes i prefer book over movie…books are more descriptive and movies are like cut short!! i loved your idea of dating though 😀 😀

      1. I’m glad!!

        Me too. I’ve only had two people in my life that I’d count as proper relationships, and one is now my husband. I’ve had boys refer to me as their girlfriend, but if it’s not lasted more than three weeks, I don’t count it, because really? Three weeks is not a relationship. Not really.

        Ha ha ha it always worked for me. My “revenge” (for want of a better word) was them knowing I was happy without them; and I genuinely was. I had a chance to move on, let go, focus on something else. Even if it was literally just a date, it always cleared my mind, you know?

  3. Did you write your story or mine? Wow! So many parallels which makes me understand you and all these feelings, emotions breaking over you like waves, taking the ground you were standing on, and the worst: the trust in yourself. There is this once in a lifetime…. but only because this love was so amazing, special, and made you completely giving yourself doesn’t mean that there can be something even better. Sometimes we have to experience such a most heartbreaking disappointment in order to see the real blessing and to cherish it even more. You are still so young and there might be things to get through until you and the other one are prepared for this real once in a lifetime which will stay for a lifetime…. love happens in the most unexpected and miraculous ways. Close that one door, turn around, and be open for life again. Only then life (and love) can reach you!

      1. Very much alike, Kruti. That’s why we understand each other so well. Be sure that you can always get to me. I am always there for you, sis, phone, email, … Whatever you feel like to share! Love you lots too 💖

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