Closure: A feeling that an emotional experience is resolved
And if you dont get one, you are like an unpredicatble person, you cry, you scream, you hurt yourself with a sharp blade and still the pain stays, those cuts and the fresh blood flowing out makes you feel alive, probably the only time you feel alive, as you see the crimson flow out….
Why did i survive those crashes, a motionless brain may get me a closure….
Was I bitter? Absolutely. Hurt? You bet your sweet ass I was hurt. Who doesn’t feel a part of their heart break at rejection. You ask yourself every question you can think of, what, why, how come, and then your sadness turns to anger. That’s my favorite part. It drives me, feeds me, and makes one hell of a story
And what if the problem is you cannot forgive your own self. Those delusions keep coming back as i pinch myself only to realize that its all true, it happened, something that i least or probably didn’t think of happening, that got my insanity at bay, even the mere thought of self-existence started pinching.
I need closure, by forgoving myself , and all the things i did, not knowin the truth, hidden safely behind the beautiful flawless lies, i can hear my heart at the moment, every crack of it, freezing with time, everything shutting inside itself, telling me to hide, hide or run till i fing the closure..
Cursing should have made me feel good, it did made me in past and now i realize i was not venting venom for a someone i did not knew, infact i was just blindly following what i was being told, shutting my senses and overusing the heart to a level that its expired now, it needs service – it needs a closure..it needs to stop to get it….
I wanna sit at the end of the bridge, alone, so that i can cry the little sobs, and filter my heart of your touch, with all the things i made for you, and tear off each single page of that book, to throw it in burning flames and that glow, problably that light on my face would lit up my soul and give me a closure…
How do you remove something that is permanent, getting it inked in your skin, with a needle of love, something that i would now have to take to my grave, coz it’s immortal and for it to burn, i have to burn and that is what will give me a closure…
Why do we see world with a charm thats imbibed in out illusional mind and it sheilds the mere spark of reality, are we that fragile, easily shattered with the game of words, how do i go back in time, get all those seconds back, the sleepless nights, the doings for getting that one surprise smile, those endless pleasures, yes pleasure, how can i forget that part coz’ i need to and only then i will attain my closure.
I need a closure….