Hate being different

When i sit alone int he dark nights fighting my demons i often ask this question to myself “Why do you do it again when it hurts’. The answer is very simple ” i love it and totally hate it that i love it”. Standing in the fire like a fire engulfed goddess is my favorite play.

I was engulfed in my version of a fairy tale when I realized that I am being stalked; stalked by her in those familiar faces that looked at me with warmth; stalked by her in the tawdry bar as I sipped on my Rum and coke; stalked by her in the song that i once woke up to each morning with salty cheeks and puffy eyes.
I hate that i am different and i hate that it is not been accepted nicely.
I have never been able to figure what was worse; feelings or the absence of it. But there was one thing that I am sure of; that people fear being loved more than loving. It’s like they believe they don’t deserve it.

Hate to Love


22 thoughts on “Hate being different

  1. Some don´t feel they diserve to be loved, they have a tendency to self destruct which in turn hurts the people around them. So why put them through it and asked to be loved? That´s one way of thinking

      1. Good to know, why are you winking so much at me? Are you flirting with me…..you you, stop with the flirting. I know I´m irresistible but get a grip on yourself

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