Dear Diary

June 1st 2014

Dear Diary

Today is the day, when I and Rain were supposed to go the summer sale and pick up dresses for her, she had her prom next week. But instead, Rain still hasn’t woken up yet. Seeing her sleep like this makes my heart flip, and trust me it’s not in a good way. It was my decision to name her “Rain”, after all I loved rains and it was a rainy night when I met her father and we fell in love.

The bruises on her skin are still fresh and she looks so pale. It kills me from within to see my little baby suffering so much. Rain is 18, but for me she would always be a little princess. I can also see that she is losing her weight. Her shiny brown hair are dull and as she rests her head against those pillows I cannot help fight the tears that come from my eyes to see my beautiful girl lying confined within the white walls. I have to shift my eyes every second as this is the sight I would never want to look at even in my worst nightmares.

Ryan has been thrown in prison for fighting with other boys. What am I gonna do with him? I know he is very disturbed, looking at her elder sister whom he loved so much like this. Off lately, he has been getting in the sticky situations and tomorrow I have a meeting with his principal. She has called me and I have no clue what’s coming next.

I still cannot believe what went wrong between Derik and Rain. How can someone beat the hell out of his own daughter? Derik was never abusive or violent. He has never ever laid his hands on me. Yes, he had ugly temper but he never hurt anyone.

I had to come early from the hospital leaving Rain alone to take care of Ryan. I am gonna sit and talk to him today. Wish me luck



June 7th 2014

Dear Diary

Sorry that I dint come before to talk to you. It had been a busy week. Ryan had a court hearing. Apparently the boy he hurt had filed monetary charges against him and it was quite ugly in the court. But eventually I managed to pay the fine and Ryan is out of the jail. Probably he is hurt inside after all it is a well-known fact about how twins are connected. Rain and Ryan were born from the same umbilical cord and I feel they do have a strong connection. Since the day Rain is hurt, Ryan has been out of his mind. He calls Rain his elder sister just due to the difference of 3 minutes in their birth times. Ryan is really going through a difficult time.

On the other hand I am glad that Derik is thrown in prison for a long time to come. He deserves no mercy for what he did to my daughter. The best thing is that I am glad that my daughter is free from that monster. I still do have difficulties in believing that he actually did that to our daughter.

Rain has serious injuries on head and doctors say she has 50% chances of survival. I am ignoring the 50 odd and trusting the 50 of survival. She has not been awake since 1st of June and every second I dream of my baby girl waking up and greeting me with her big brown eyes. I went in the morning to tell her that her father has been punished for hurting her. The word father makes no sense and when that word slipped from my mouth I had tears. His act was not fatherly at all.

I just want Rain to come out of the comma and talk to me. Tell me what happened and I promise to save her from everything that has ever to come on her.



June 14th 2014 

Dear Diary,

I do not get more of a time to come and talk to you except for Sundays. The situations have been so bad. Ryan was expelled from the school due to his behavior. After my requests and explaining his state of mind, the principal finally agreed to keep him back. He went to the school again and I hope it goes gracefully for him. I hate seeing him also like that. He looks all depressed and shattered.

When the doctor told me I was pregnant with twins my world was filled with happiness. Before even they were born, I wanted to give them everything they had ever desired. Looking at their present situation I just have one question – “What went wrong and why?”

One more shocking fact is about Derik. I went to the prison to meet him, not to check on his condition but to gain the answers on why he did that to Rain. And his behavior was something I never expected. He started shouting on me for putting him in prison. Not once he asked about Rain. What makes me upset is that he dint give a damn about how his daughter have been after he beat her and pushed her causing a severe head injury. I dint even let him finish his shouting’s and just walked away as I felt disgusted.

I have a meeting with a senior doctor tomorrow morning to discuss Rain’s case. They want me to take some steps. I just know one thing – “I want my baby girl back”

When she wakes up I am going to take Rain and Ryan to a different town and give them the best of life away from that bastard.



June 16th 2014

Dear Diary

I met the doctor yesterday and I haven’t stopped crying since. My hands have been terribly shaking and I am not able to write properly. The doctors have just one option with them and that is “take Rain off the life support”. My whole body seem to shake at the thought of Rain going away from me. More than my baby girl, she is my best friend.

I told them I need to think before letting my precious princess embark her journey to heaven. This was my worst nightmare and it slapped my face becoming a reality.

I haven’t told about it to Ryan. I fear his reaction. Off lately he has been staying ta his friends place as this house reminds him of Rain and I think its better he is there. While here, he locked himself in the room and refused to come out. I could hear his sobs down the hallway. He feels guilty of not being able to help his sister. He went out with his friends when all of this happened. I was at work and when Ryan returned he saw Rain in a pool of blood. His has been under shock since then. HE could never forgive himself for not being there.

The whole thing about Rain is killing both of us.




June 18th 2914

Yesterday I had to tell Ryan about Rain. After all he had the right to know and meet his sister for one last time. The news tore him apart as expected. He screamed and locked himself. He blamed me for letting Rain die.

Those words were like a knife slicing through my heart. I am not letting Rain die. I am just ending her sufferings. I pray to god to give Ryan some strength to pass this time.



June 25th 2014

Dear Diary

It’s been long since I have written but I had no words. I still don’t have enough words to describe my pain. My vision is blurred and I can barely see through the lines.

Rain passed away last week. The doctors could do nothing to save her. I was there watching over her as she took her last breath. I was screaming her name wanting her to come back. Ryan was standing next to me and he saw his twin sister pass away. She wasn’t supposed to go this way leaving us behind.

Ryan started going to school again from today. In the morning he came to me and I could see his eyes all red and puffy. He told me how he hated his father and he would never call him a father for the matter of fact. He also said that if ever Derik is out of jail, he would kill him. He wouldn’t ever be able to overcome the guilt of not being able to save Rain.

While he was sitting in the café with his friends, Rain did call him and all he could hear was screaming on the phone. Rain was screaming in pain and he ran as fast as he could but never made it on time. When he was home, Derik had darted out of the door leaving Rain in a pool of blood. Even if Derik had called the doctors on time, after his horrifying act, maybe Rain would have been alive.

He needs to stop blaming himself for everything. I am planning to move away from here and this house taking my son somewhere where he can start a new life. It was not his fault. He said he wanted us to leave as soon as possible and I am glad that he stood by me in the decision. It’s very hard for me to digest the fact that my daughter is no more and my husband is responsible for it.



June 28th 2014

Dear Diary

Today was Rain’s funeral. All her friends were here. Her best friend Kristine was crying for her as she spoke some last words for my daughter. Sam was suppose to be her prom partner and he never attended the prom that year, none of her friends did. Sam was equally shattered. They all missed Rain. Ryan was by my side throughout the funeral not leaving my hand even for a moment. We both had tears in our eyes as we saw the casket being lowered in the ground.

The sad part is, till date both of us has no clue what caused Derik to beat Rain so much and so violently. It kills me that I never saw this coming. I just hope Ryan is normal again and all I I have for now is hope…

We leave tomorrow morning.



18 thoughts on “Dear Diary

  1. I cannot live with the suspense dat what happened between Derik and Rain. Why Derik had to hurt rain so badly. I am hoping the suspense will be out today..

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