“Anything wrong” i asked him
“No” he said with a fake smile
“i am not”
“Common you can tell me” i insisted
He looked around. I followed his gaze. EH looked at me “you want me to tell it amongst all this hustle bustle?”
“Something serious?” i asked suspiciously
“No, i am frustrated, i just wanna throw it out”
“in the car?”
“yes in the car” and after finishing the coffee we went sat in the car and there he started.
“Problem is that girls are girls and the second problem is i dont want any problem in my life and if there is no problem in my life than it would be a problem in her life. And you think she is worried? Really? She should be celebrating right now, this is what she always wanted. This days when she opens the mouth i feel like i should stuff something in her mouth. I had it all in past 6 months. What love, what relationship? what happines?? Relationship is all about her happiness, her birthday, her dog’s birthday, her new year, thought it is mine too…but no everything is just about her. There is nobody on this planet who can keep a girl happy. A happy women is a myth. Look at that Batman chic. Till the time he wasn’t a batman she accused him on not doing anything, she called him impotent and what not and the day became a Batman what did she say? “Now i want a normal human, now how can i stay with you?”. This is all the fault of stories. A boy, a girl, they fell in love and the movie ends, no one tells what happens next. I will tell you the story further. After that if the boy wont hug the girl for even a day she would have problems, if he hugs than also she would have problems, she would call him too touchy and that it doesnt look good.Next is their shopping, which never ends. First the cushions, then the curtains, Than the cushion color wont match curtain color and we get new cushions. Bloody i have so many mugs in my house that if i sell them i could run my house for one whole month. They would never buy what they actually wanted to. She screwed my brain for two weeks that i want a table and then after going to the mall and spending five hours there, she bought a sandal. and then, the table saga continued for next two months.
i am working in the office and she would call me in-between. I pick the call and tell her “i cant talk now” and what would she reply? “What would happen if you talk for two minutes baby?”bloody i dont understand that if i wont speak for 2 minutes what the hell would go wrong in your world? next is the I LOVE YOU story. Hanging the phone without saying love you means i dont love her. mobile phone seems like a belt, her doggy’s belt in my neck. I blame mobile companies for everything. the way they have reduced the call rates and then people keep on calling each other and then one day you have nothing to talk and then the drama starts “you dont have anything to talk to me? you dont love me anymore?” i am working in the office and the sms comes “i love you” i reply “i love you too” and then the pool of sms comes in. Should i stop working? And if i dont reply, the call come sin very next second. and yes if i dont answer the phone next sms would be “i dont think its working anymore.
In 10 fucking minutes the sentence changes from “i love you” to “i dont think it’s working anymore”.
Now i know why so many males die of heart attack and why a gay person is so successful. its just because they dont have a women to screw their life. No one tells the truth that behind every unsuccessful man also there is a women. and we all know there are more unsuccessful people then the successful ones.
I tell her i would be late from work than also she would wait for me for dinner and then she would get angry when i am late and then after a long tiring day i have to go home and convince her, say sorry and what not and after that….my hunger just vanishes. i am sitting silently in the corner and she would come every 10 minutes “what are you thinking? bloody i feel like shouting on her “i am just thinking how to shut your mouth forever”. also you simply cannot discuss anything with a women coz any discussion with a women is an argument. and you can never ever win against them in argument, coz we have sensible arguments but for girls, sense? what is sense? we just have to win the game.
And you know the time of the argument?? she would argue on something that has happened 2 months earlier. here i dont even remember what had happened and she has a whole list to argue. just try proving yourself in front of them at any particular point and you will hear a shout “put your finger down”. you might have not even noticed but your innocent little finger might have just been pointed towards her at a little tilted angle. and then……omg…the whole argument would shift the focus and the new argument would be “how dare you pint the finger on me”. She can throw a damn shoe at you but i am not allowed to point a finger. And last but not least, if i try and discuss her problem with nay of her friend who i think can talk to her than what come son me?? “how dare you talk to her, you want her sympathy?? why dont you sleep with her?” It’s ridiculous.”
PS: Today i actually thought it all again and typed it all :p
Inspired from: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BA9MRXWR8g