Today has got no good news from me. Yes, when I visit a hospital or even someone names one, I feel dizzy and full of nausea. And today was the day that I had to visit one myself. After yesterday nights sudden bleeding from the nose and my head spinning at a 360 degree angle, I visited a doctor who informed that I have Nasal Septum Deviation, or some might even call it Deviated Nasal Septum, a condition in which the nasal septum — the bone and cartilage that divide the nasal cavity of the nose in half — is significantly off center, or crooked, making breathing difficult. I was probably born with it and never knew until it got worse. Now this doctor of mine says that I need to get myself operated in order to breathe normally as there had been an inadequate supply of oxygen reaching my brain making me dizzy again and again. Phew!!! And that was not enough, he said I have deviated septum with severe migraine, a chronic neurological disorder characterized by recurrent moderate to severe headaches often in association with a number of autonomic nervous system symptoms. Now this is ridiculous. Such heavy terms I am not able to digest. I am already nervous!! Gulp!!
When I was young I cried on seeing injection needle, I still do. When I donated blood few days back, the moment that nurse inserted a syringe in my arm, I started crying. My intentions are good, lol, I want to help people by donating blood, but needle scares the hell out of me. Plus whenever I have to get myself vaccinated or go under a blood test, I still cry (yes, I am 27 and I cry looking at needles).
How do I go under this surgery? This scary shit made my day even worse!!!!
So here’s a little poem on me being a scary little shit!!
Scared in the midst of night
Scared in the broad daylight
Scared of that tiny little thing
Scared of every hospital shit
Fear is not my friend
Fear is till the end
Fear is all I have
Fear is consuming me at the best
I weep at my complexity
I am sure this is my destiny
Fear manipulates human kind
Fear holds my life till eternity