Can be found on the link: http://www.islandcrisis.net/consoling-a-woman-female-version/
Most of the couples out there would agree to the fact that “how to react in particular situation” is the most difficult part of a relationship. She expects something else and he behaves in a different way. Things mess up and there starts the World War Z! It is one of the most crucial parts of any relationship: “The Famous How To Console Her, Theory“. This happens with most of the men when their women are tensed and need to be consoled.
Man often acts as a dipshit in such situations making things worse. Their lack of knowledge in handling such situations ends up in becoming a reason for their dispute. Imagine your women had a bad day at the office fighting with a colleague. She accidentally lost her favorite lipstick the same day and while coming back home someone splashed up mud all over her dress. When she is home, she is tensed and disturbed and the awesome husband would add to the trouble by considering crying a negative thing. “Don’t cry that won’t solve the problem” or “don’t cry, that is not reversing the time” such statements are considered utter bullshit from a woman’s point of view (really!). She wants you comfort her and hug her but instead you act like a shitty philosophic giving lectures on time travel. Acting like a linear thinker won’t help much. It would make the man look like a GRUMPY CAT.
Attention or advice? Think about that woman who just lost a close friend or family member to cancer. She is sad and dishearten. While she is crying, her other friends are trying to comfort her with hugs and words. Now here comes the crappy turn in the tale. Mr Great Boyfriend would jump in between and ask all her friends to let her cry and shell out the emotions as that would make her feel better. Instant female thought: “First of all you did not come to console me, and when my friends are doing that, you are driving them away. Such a heartless creature you are”. She was waiting for him to come and talk to her and comfort her. But no! Instead he wants her to cry. A man should be able to decipher the non-verbal clues.
Mr Busy was supposed to meet Miss Difficult at 5 pm. Due to some urgent commitments he had to postpone his appointment with his lady love. When he calls her up and informs, she gets upset. She starts fighting back with “how can you do this”. To this he would answer “Even you did it once, did I get angry back then”. Boom!!! Here you go wrong. You postponed the time and you blamed her. Your women would be round the bend for this. You might have to pay heavily for speaking these words. Newton’s third law of motion( actions and reactions are equal and in opposite direction) applies perfectly here.
When your lady love is very upset and asks you to leave her alone, kindly stop nagging around her like a desperate boyfriend. She is upset and she wants some time for herself. She wants to have a hot cup of coffee with herself to reboot her thoughts. When she told you 10,000 times to let her sit alone still you are all around the place hugging and asking her what happened and trying to coax her with various things. This indeed is a sweet approach but a wrong time. It irritates the hell out of the girl. Back off before she turns in to a lady ninja.
Oh here’s a real and recent story about a friend of mine. Tanya had a fight with her dad and is sad afterwards. She is sitting out there and feeling really upset. Roy comes in the picture “Baby even I had a fight last week, but I managed it so well” and there he starts his tale of heroism and his actions in similar situations. He should be asking her the details of the problem and try to solve her but instead he is busy narrating his own stories. How insensitive is that?
Here is the case where Miss Problematic is sad and is about to cry. Mr Boyfriend does not know the reason and he comes to comfort her. “We both are going through a rough patch right now, we need to be strong”. Mr BF did not care for her problem or tried to resolve it. Instead he started pouring his own in between. This is a big NO-NO while consoling your lady love. Listen to her and give her some suggestions. Give her problems a priority and put yours the next. Just tell her you love her and you would be by her side no matter what. But instead this jughead had to start narrating his problems. Miss Problematic is too upset to listen to his problems and this is not the right time either.
When your girl is crying you are not always the reason. You will start to panic and things would go wrong. Remember, she was crying and this is all about her. You really need to stop focusing over yourself and try to understand her.
While consoling your girlfriend pay attention to her and leave aside the whole world. She is telling you her problems and you are busy playing an online BEER PONG. Crap!! This will work a big time against you. You might have never done that in school either but you need to follow it win front of your girlfriend.
She looks upset and many people are surrounding her to take her aside and ask her if anything is bothering her. Do not open your mouth in public or else she would close it forever. There are people who might gawk and if anyone really does you would be a dead piece of meat.
If the girl is super upset and is not ready to talk don’t force her. Giver her sometime “I will be back in 30 min and then I am sitting with you to talk” This might actually give her time to think about what she wants to say and she would be calm too.
Girls are the most confused species on this planet, that’s not a hidden fact. When you know the fact why not “be cautious” about it. A little bit of knowledge regarding what to do and what not to would help you a lot.