Reflets

School Days had been one of the most memorable days of my life……when i see my confused and totally lost reflection in the mirror today my mind juggles back to my school days………..the most beautiful days of my life….when I was happy and most importantly I was ME. Time moved on and meeting new people gave altogether new experiences. Some good and some bad..But they changed me a lot…and slowly I developed myself in to someone whom even I don’t recognize today. Back in school I had cooking as a subject where they taught us new dishes and I used to love cooking. I actually have gone to crossword so many times to buy cooking books and then have tried new innovative dishes home…….look at me today. I hate entering kitchen. I do enter in sometimes but it totally depends on my mood. When I look deeper in to myself I realize that I still love to cook but only when I am happy. The confusions of this world has developed an alter ego inside me. I was a jolly cheerful child back in school and now I hate to answer phone calls. It kind of irritates me. I have started to love my loneliness more than anyone else. If friends call me to hang out somewhere all I have is a “NO”. When I sit alone on my terrace the flashes of past rotates around me. I have made people happy……I have done a lot for friends with bad returns most of the time. It kind of brings a tear in to my eyes. Today I am a girl who gets emotional even with little bit affection shown to her as she has been struggling a lot in her life. I have few friends now but they are all faithful ones unlike my past and I am happy for it. I have a boy friend whose the cutest boy on this planet and I am happy with me minusing few social issues and problems we share (hope that would end soon). But still deep down I still cannot see a happy reflection on ME. I have a nice job but I am not satisfied with it. May be this was not what I wanted to be. Still I believe I am a fighter and I would fight my destiny.   ….. new year ne thoughts new resolutions new plans and most importantly wishing a wedding bell………best of luck to me……….

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4 thoughts on “Reflets

  1. Hi Kaytee, isn’t it a wonderful thing to write your heart out? You get to choose the words and say what you want to say without interruption. You are a beautiful young woman walking your own life path with someone who loves you. What we want and need from life changes from time to time and we make choices that are good for us and help us to grow as a person. Like you, I do not have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are good ones. With my husband, children, and grandchildren–and of course my dog and cats–I have a happy and satisfying life–and I get to write. I had to laugh about the cooking–I don’t like to cook unless I’m happy either but we have to eat and somebody has to cook. So like the children’s game–TAG–I’m it!! ha ha

    Thanks for sharing this with me. You are a beautiful person inside and out. Remember that.
    xoxox

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